Brush Confession #5

I hope I never take for granted who or what has brought me to where I am today. But honestly, sometimes the view can be hard to remember or see. Especially when fear, guilt, sadness and doubt influences life. When I get into this kind of space, I chant my favorite mantra, “Everything is going to be alright.” And I remind myself to practice self-acceptance and trust that I am where I need to be, accepting who I am, instead of striving to be better. I am enough, exactly as I am. My heart has been feeling heavy. Releasing tears of regret, happiness, pain, and love. Learning to embrace my emotions and not shove them away. I must execute one gentle step forward into my truth. I need not to be afraid of my true self. Allowing room for gentle encouragement, and space to find the root of my emotions. Remembering who I am.
I must paint my soul. Express its tenderness and beauty through the power of color. I must not be afraid of my own pallet. I must find my inner landscape and water it back to life. I want to be awake.

Brush Confession #4

“Left to myself, I rely on my
Intoxication with work…
and then I let myself go without limits.”
Van Gogh

Today a valley of yellow wild flowers intoxicated me while my eyes embraced the rolling hills accompanied by cows and birds. Each brush stroke I created was a visual response to what I saw. I was simply in the moment. I was one with the land. And while I was painting, I realized an important lesson. I will never fully know where my creative journey is going to lead me and I cannot predict who and what I will become. The only certainty is that I am changing and transforming into something larger and deeper. I am doing the work! I am choosing to allow myself to simply be. Trusting in the process and the universe. Just like Van Gogh, I must let myself go without limits.

Brush Confession #3

I have begun facing some big shifts in my practice as an artist. My painting boots are walking a thin line between the past and the future. I have striped myself away from the comfort of a home and a studio.
All I am now is a painter and my studio has become the great outdoors. The landscape is now my teacher, my home, and my heart. I am a gypsy preparing for the road. I am a human being letting go of material things and coming face to face with my own truth. I don’t always like whom I see in the mirror. I am as vulnerable as the animal that gives himself up for food. I am jumping through paintings with my heart open. Trying to make all the pieces fit. The horizon line is where a guardian angle embraces me. The trail of the brush has begun. I am consumed by the view and the endless possibilities. I am ready to surrender to the process. Less is more.
During this hard time in my life there have been a few books that have really spoken to me and one of them is Ordinary Sparkling Moments by Christine Masson Miller. A book that is a piece of art, a book that has struck my core and given me so much light during this time of transition. I opened her book randomly today and this is what my eyes read.

“It is innately human to want to hold on to things-people, memories, objects, moments. But life does not allow for such grasping on any permanent basis, and perhaps that is our greatest challenge as expressive beings…To create for the sake of creating, knowing that what we create might not have any value beyond our doing it. Knowing it will someday be gone. To live for the sake of living, knowing each moment we have is over with every blink of an eye, knowing we will someday be gone, with only our creations left behind.”

I must live each moment like it my last and know that I will always be an expressive being who work must move forward letting go of things, and people and surrender to both the process and the now. Life is to short and less is more!

Ps. If you would like to have Christine book go to http://www.christinemasonmiller.com/

Brush Confession #2

The purpose of creating this blog was to share my process as an artist; however, these last few months I have slacked because of my personal life. All I have now is my art and my dreams. There are moments when I am shocked about the choices I have made, but deep down inside I know I am exactly where I need to be. My art is my life and I must embrace it. I was born an artist and I will die an artist.
Due to the changes in my life, “creating” has been a challenge for me. However, just like my paintings I must trust and believe in the process. There are many layers of beauty, sadness, and dreams to be experienced. I cannot allow fear to take over my life. I began something new, I am painting in nature and the brush has spoken to me. The brush is my voice and my art is my heart. I am painting both the ugly and the beautiful parts of myself. I am on a path to self-discovery. My wings already exist; I just need to learn to fly.

Brush Confession # 1

Little house of travels,
Itching my subconscious.
Bristles eager to be dipped among
the endless purple mountains,
and blue amber waves.

Little house of travels,
Popping rhythmic chants against the hot and cold pavements…

My heart believes.

I am the road,
and the brush is my teacher.

Endless nights…
Heading for the horizon,
Living the life.
Counting the stars.

Tire to pavement,
Not afraid of time.

Surrendering to the process.

Walking in and out of paintings.
Not afraid of my will.

The brush has spoken.
The blank canvas awaits her.

Little house of travels,
Where art is born
and dreams become real.

Nov 2009
By Marlene White

The Brush & The Road

The Trail Of The Brush…

Goal:

A dear friend gave me a card once, with a quote by Denny Kaye that said, “ Life is a big Canvas throw all the paint on it you can. “ I have a dream of traveling throughout the United States of America in an RV, creating paintings that will be evolving along the way. My studio will no longer be confined to four walls; it will expand into communities, cities and various landscapes.

I will be creating a video about painting and my personal experience on the road. Exploring what happens when an act of painting becomes public and collaborative rather than an act done privately.

This project is about my desire to find a deeper understanding about my own internal process as a Deaf, Queer, Woman Artist grabbling with identity and the need to find myself through the power of art. Leaving behind the comfort of my home and a familiar community.

Every brush stroke will be a record of an exact moment traveled and experienced. Each mile driven will be an opportunity to bare witness to life. I will travel the states with awareness, not passing the things that move me, but stopping to know them. Capturing their teachings through painting. Revealing trails of brushstrokes created with mindful intentions.

The video and paintings will contain the stories of time and places overlapped. Memories carried into each other.

The road will be my teacher and the brush will be its voice. I will investigate all directions; share both my internal and external growth and the power of painting. I know the canvas will be measured by inches, but the outcome of this journey is limitless. True art strikes deeper than the surface and life is a great big canvas waiting to be painted.

New York City

My goal for traveling to N.Y. was to visit with galleries and old friends. My mission was accomplished; however, I received much more! N.Y. is a city full of life, art, performance and play. I never walked so much in my life! Everywhere my eyes looked I witnessed art. My heart was full and my mind was stimulated. I was completely in my element. I chose to do this trip alone, which allowed me to experience each moment fully! My eyes embraced rhythm, organization, concentration, balance, dominance, color, and life. My love for art was re-charged and I fell in love all over again! I was reminded that art is not only seen in museums or galleries. As artist we must live, work, play and create. My process as an artist feels very deep and centered right now. During my walks around the city I realized that my work is a result of deep consideration, and I believe in the importance of what I am doing, what I have seen, what I have experienced and therefore I believe my work can and will stir the world. I fully trust what I am doing and who I am as an artist. What I witnessed in N.Y. was a gift and worthy of my time. I am ready to look directly at my work and join no false creed and respect all the truth my eyes witness. I promise myself that I will continue to investigate my work in all directions. I must trust my eyes again and know that the future is in my hands. I must live. Work. Play. And Create.

Spray Can Project…

Finished a city can last night…I just realized that the image of the moon is not showing! I will post another view of this little guy! I am planning on working in the studio late tonight. More to come soon!

Taking a Break…

“ No Nation as yet is the home of art. Art is an outsider, a gypsy over the face of the earth.”

“The only sensible Way to regard the art life is that it is a privilege you are willing to pay for.”

“Breath is useless unless it effects expression.”

Will return soon!

Spray Can Project

I just finished the first two spray can paintings! I love them and the idea! I can see hundreds of them on a wall in a gallery.  I can see them on the mantles of people’s homes, bookshelves, and as gifts for people in my life. I am so excited about the potential of my spray can paintings!

What do you think?